Book 7

a nice n hard book to read..
well, i just come back from intensive learning .. for book 7,
well i have not finish the whole book yet..
well, next friday i need to continue the book, well, i really hope that i can finish it,..
\i really look forward to it...
well, gambatee lo

what do you think bout it?

as days passes by, without us knowing,
i don't really know wat is that i have been doing..
there was a trip, un to the hill,
where frashness is all around you..
we played, sang beautiful songs, and act funny drama..
and sad once too..
but in sometime, i don't really know was going on...

today, i got a news, a new that shock me...
n i din know wat to do..
#
but i know, life after death, is much more happier,
and i should not be sad..
but somehow, after thinking of the two kid, i feth sad

mayb i din wan them to past the days i have been passing...
but, wat can i do..
coz i'm just an outsider,
looking at all the happenings..
and couldn't do a thing...

i was happy, n din really think much yesterday, and the days before that...
but after this incident, i suddenly realise,
how weak are we,
and how short our time is...

sometime it make me scare, but i know,
by just being scare, won help anything...##

there are still plenty of things i can do, i can help
i can give to this socialty...
and i know i don't really have mucch time eighter..
when i feel that i am able to go trough all this,
then i can get my answer..

by then., the only thing i can do now
is ...
make every time worth as they were ment to be...
not only to me, but to every one...

days at frazer hill....

last week end, i went to frazer hill..
it ic our cc trip.. n it was vry vry vry vry fun..
haha..... ^^
althoughi did not get much sleep.. ^^
but nvm la... that is wat i need to pay for, if i wanted to go to the trip..
but i did not regard.. ^^
and was really very happy of it.. ^^
haha.. at least ido meet alot of friends... seniors,and those same badge with me... ^^
haha, we had many fun they, we did explore race, and basicly, we when to many many many place... walking n jogging n running of coz.. but overall, fun... ^^
thn nite we play mafia, and haha, come ppl got addicted with in, ya, at night time, we play games too.. many many games.. ^^
haha, but our group din really win many things... ^^
but no problem, our group always say, the mosyt important is the way we pass this trip, the most things we take is photo, and the most things we see is senery,,,....
haha, cool huh.
then after that at night we did something like talent show, and it was totaly funny... kanasai titanic, tat really fulfill the title, then pearl harbour, that was really touching, and the inner meaning was really good... it made ppl cry too... as for my group, we did journey to the west.. haha, funny one.. we suppors to do something that made ppl cry and cry and cry, but at last, we ended up doping something that was really funny, the attaim to make something sad turn to be something really funny... but no problem .... coz laughter is the best medican.. ^^
ya, one more thing, i got the best K LE FE girls award... haha, i was "BAi GU JING" read in chinese plase... haha, not my name is bai gu already/... haiz,... ^^ but , haha, it was ok..
^^
well until now, the photo i will post it soon, when i got the photos..

coldness.. or refreshing?

rain.... water that falls from the sky,
it brings freshness and moisture
to the land they fall on
giving life and hope to every being....

as rain come, it brings along a gift,
it is a gift from Heaven,
more precious than anything ...
it brings life to the land.

but sometimes,
rain brings more then hope,
it brings sorrow, and emptiness
that makes people weep as it falls.

sometime i start to wonder,
what are you...
are you a gift , a bounty that was given from heaven,
or are you a reminder, telling us to be think carefully

as i look out the window to the falling rain,
i felt happy because it rain, at last..
but i do know someway in my heart,
theres a slide feel of sorrow.

you might say that it is the nature of the rain..
and there are no one to ask to...
but some how i still wonder,
are you my gift, or my reminder

are you coldness.. or refreshing

in class

I have class, but i am very tired.. coz i duno wat to do now.. haiz..
every wed n tues..
some of u might think that having com class is fun... but not when u need to do all the exersice in the com..
u will get really tired...

when i say tired, i mean really tired....

haha... everyday need to learn many many things.... ^^
luckly i fund it quite interesting... if not i really duno how can i survive in earning spanish all the time..

today olej no water neh.. coz the pipe was broken.. so they need to change the pipe today.. haven take my bath yet.. duno when the water will come back..,.. luckly i was able to keep somewater.. so that in case that the water din come today, at least we stll have water tonight.. ^^
haha... not like last time no water to brust teeth n drink water..

later at night got meeting.. i really dun feel like going... tired... but wat to do.. i must go... ^^

talkoing bout night... i really have two really funny n fun roomates.. they are willing to help each other.. n that is really nice of them.
yesterday we did disco in the room... it was really really fun... Y^^^

haha... all the best to them////
lateron i will write more bout them

wat a day

well, not much things happen to me..
haha, recenly i am always sleely, coz not really enuf sleep...
but then still ok la....
haha,
this few days was the konvo... i was actually incharge to wash plates.. but lastly i did not go because i was sick..
haha, sick again... plus some one came n visit me... , so i was even more tired thn usual...
haiz...

now is almost ten weeks i was here... haiz...
i did learn something.. but i really need to work as hard as posible... u know, i;m not that type that all the knowledge can easily get in to my head... nop... really not those type.. but wat to do.. all i can do now is work hard...

so that i can catch up on wat i miss..

ya, one more thing, on merdeka day, i went to c fireworks...
haha, it was beautifull.... really nice... ^^
so happy to c it....
haha, it was a competition actually,and that day the country that is competing is Japan...
at first it was not so nice, but then... the last part was really nice.. they put up many many many fireworks until it turns into a big giantic love shape firework...
nice..
thn of coz we took tans of pictures... but, i did not take much pictures... because i dun't have a camera... ^^
haha
never mind.. all put in head thn ok liao de lo...

lastly, gambatee to all my friends... jia you jia you to u all o...

p/s: my mom is coming soon... so happy... ^^
i can have my things here.. ping pong.. guitar.... haha~!

aquarium....

i went to the aquarium recenly..... it was so fun.. with many fishes...
hihi... a saw sea turtle.. they are so so so cute... hihi.. when i say cute, i really mean that they are cute... but then... i walk future, i saw a more cure creature.. it is a monkey.. a very small monkey...
hihi, so cute n small... ^^
i took picture with it.. but i cannot hold it.. ^^
haha...
thn i saw kangaroo as well.. ^^
ans the skung.. ^^
haha.. but i canot take any picture of it/... coz we cannot that photo at that area.. they only let us to c it only....
haha.... ^^

thn i got to c the under water creature... saw the sting ray, so big.... haha..
the shark too...
n there are scuba diver in the water as well......
hmm... they are not scare on the shark.. ^^
haha... it was really fun... ^^
hope next time can go c even more nice one... coz i wana c dolphine,,, feel that they are so cute.. ^^

haha... next week exam... hope all the best to me.. ^^

gotong royong

well, we have our gotong royong last sunday... haha, yesterday la... it was fun/... n i wa able to meet with a lot of ppl... ^^
so happy....
we all took plenty of pic.. all sot sot de la.... ^^
still okee.... ^^
going to let u all c the pic once i get them..

now lets talk bout today, today i start class... but i dun quite understan wat the teacher was telling.... haiz.... but hope i waill get wat she is talking after studyong the books la... ^^
hopes all will be alrigh...
next week is my exam.. hope i can get flying colours.. T.T
hope la...
really need to study hard.. as hard as i could... T.T

okie la.. as for now... my life in uni..

jia you to me..


n btw, i feel okie.... no more sick.....
happy of it.. cAN SING now... ^^


hahaha.... ^^
but my roommate sick now.. hope she will get well soon

tired

was up till 3 recenly... studying/..... now i can practice my spanish more, coz my room mate is talking to me with her language n i am answering it in spanish... sp io hope my language can inprove....
yersterday i went to the biAN lun , debate chinese de la.... at first i did not wan to go there... i wanted to go to the xiang sheng zhu... but last last kena pull to go to the xiang sheng zhu there la.... haiz..... ^^ nvmm..... but thn kena call up to go bian lun again...
n then we debate lo...
the title is walking brings more happyness thn driving//...
so basicly... i was like, wat title is this.... ^^ still ok la... so i when on bian lun.... but thn wat happen was that.... i got to go for another round of pk debate.....
haiz..... last last, just debate tilll it was 12... but one happy thing is that i was able to eat cake... chocolate cake .... eat also feel happy liao... because there was some one birthday.,,,... ^^
hahaha... one very very very senior de senior.... ^^

but overall, it was still ok.. but i really hope that i was able to go for the xiang sheng too that day,,... coz say wat also, i like xiang sheng... i mean i love to c n talk ... ^^

and it is not as tense at the debate... but writing the scripe is another thing al.......

ya, one more thing, i need to go dance ... haiz... so tecnacly i need to go down to dance.. i think i need to take her placeto dance de... so gambatee to me....
n i feel much more helthy liao..... thankz to all those who took care of we when i was sck.... reallm thankz you, xie xie, arigato gozaimasu, gracias...... terima kasih......

sick badly

i am sick for so many days now, each time i feel the i am recovering, thn i get my fever at night again... and a bad one too...
haiz, miss class for two days liao... keep on asking ppl got wat homework, but no one wans to tell me leh.. they say dun have,... haiz.... dun noe how... ..
hope i will noe the homeworks la.... T.T

there are so many things i wan to do.. but somehow, i cant finish them coz i noly can do things a while only.. thn need to rest... n i loose weight too... coz i was sick till i cannot eat most of the things here.. T.T really sad bout it... i really miss all the vege... hope to go back home n eat nice nice food......

haha, but anyway, i hope i will recover as soon as posible.. i also would like to thank all my room mate.. tere are so good, and really took real care of me all this while... thank you o.... ^^

continue

continue with my life... i got sick... n really sick.... i'm so tired.. i think i need to sleep for little more...

but , still ok la... life here, the time pass like water..
i duno how much i have learn, but i will try my best to do wat i can....

basket ball?

today , my day was really busy... hahha..
i woke up at 8.00 morning... actually is dreak my self out from the bed... haha..
so basicly, i did not get much sleep...
thn i go the ptum de function... busy... but i think it will be vry fun de/...
so just go.. it turn out ok... ^^
thn at 3, i when to youth gathering in one uncle house...
we did bbq, but we wasnt the one who cook the things'
thn we all play the treasure hunt.. n boy how hard is it to play..
our group just got 61 mark... so funny neh.
but nvm la... happy liao thn ok..
thn louise call ask me to play basket ball...
so i when to her colledge to play basketba;lll..
well, play in mid night.. not really midnight la.. but it is nite time;..
so samething hard to play..
plus i cannot c somemore..
bu tluckly i was able to play....and it was fun....
never have that fun time since i came here///.......
haha...... but noe i so so so os tired... feel wana sleep liao... i think later i will sleep lo... nite nte to every one
jia you.. gambatee/...

上课了!!

我上课已经是第三个星期了... 可是我还是一点东西都不会.
大家都可以说留利的西班牙语.但是, 我还很乱.
我看, 我是时候在努力拉. 可能是自己不够努力.

好烦呀~!~!~!

下个星期就是考试.. 我也不董怎么考试.
现在我唯一能做的,
就是
努力努力再努力,...........

每个人都有自己的问题,
但,
问题是可以解决的,
只是看看自己要不要努力把问题决绝而已...

time + memory = history

as child, i look foward to this place,
and as teenager, i made it as my goal,
there was so many hopes i lay my dreams apon it,
and now i am in it..

thinking back to the pass now,
i miss my childhood,
looking back now,
i miss my teeenager life style...

sometime, people are so funny,
when they don't have it, they strive to get it,
once they get it,
not many apreciate it.

mayb one of them is me,
or even you.
but please bere in mind that,
life + memory = history

wat we need to know now,
is wat are we going to do NOW.
and future.....

days in university passes in a flash,
i don't wan to make it as only my memory,
so i will strive to make each day meaningful..
can i?
and will you?

Melaka

when to melaka on the saturday,... wern nie bring me n bei san oveer to her home town, although we din go to all the history place, but they really bring my all over the place to makan...
made really a lot of friends there, and it was really fun... ^^

i ate durian there, n nice one too... really need to thankz aunty to take us in to her house to stay... n thankz to pei ling n pei yee too... who bring us all around malaka to look look see see and eat... ^^
it was really fun there.....

when i reach there i loose my voice. but tat din really stop them to bring me out and eat all the nice nice food... ^^

i ate plenty type of food, and those i never c b4, like celup sate, i think tat is wat they call it, thn the rice round round de, thn mai ya tang, a king of candy, durian, nyonya food and many... ^^ so nice neh.,.... ^^

beside that, they also sing k at home, wah, now only i noe that their whole family can really sing,... n sing in a melodies way too.. T.T i wasn't able to sing coz no voice...

ya one more thing, i think i'll be find here in um, coz all my senior took really good care of me.. ^^ got fdew lecture from them bout how to take care my self.. ^^ really need to thank them o...

today study no voice, my teacher was so good, she din let me read anything, haha, i cannot read them either. LOL...
ok la.. until here...
all the best to all my amigos...
GOOD LUCK

days in uni

it is the second week in uni now, well, and it is time to talk bout my first two weeks in uni life...
well, the haluan siswa is really a challenging thing,,... but haha, overall atill ok...
every day, we only get to sleep for like 2 hours.. n take bath at late night.. but till the last few days, it was ok already.. everything is back to normal again...
haha, but one thing that made me vry sad is that during tat time, i break my glasses.. so meaning to say, i dun have glasses for like 5 days.. i broke it when i was playing bola baling...
haha, long time din play that game.. we dint win, but at least i enjoy the game n made many friends.,..

so happy neh...

one more thing, we lose in our cheer leading competition... it was bad.. but nevermind.. i dun really mind winning also.. haha

thnh after a week, my class started.. well, it was bad.....
coz i realize that my class credit hours are overall more thn other ppl.. n my class number are really small.. only 6 ppl... os... a lot of studying and teacher will always c u... hmm... no compliments... haha..

one more thing. learning a new language wasnt a nice thing to do.. u need to study real hard.. thn in my condition where i'm not use ti the food and all. it was really hard...
i wander how could i survive till the 3 year... ??
gambatee to me... * haha.. learning spanise but still type in japanese...
well, i mayb going to malacca to visit there ... ^^ hope everything will be ok...
n ya, i attainted the NDF yesterday, haha, luckly there are ppl that i noe.. ^^
the comity there are vry good. the aunty even give me cakes to bring home.. ^^
n prayer books too.. which i forgot to bring.. ^^

ok la... until now. adios

driver..= mamat

well, now i noe y driving is tires and why i dun like driving.

ya, of coz driving is fun, u can go any place u wan.. but once come to finding a parking and looking only the road and cannot do anything except driving, thn, think again, driving is not tat fun after all..

haha...

today i send my sis to places she wanted to go.. haha... tell u the truth, i wasn't able to even wake up..
LOL.....
but luckly i was able to drak my self out from bed..
thn send my sister to hospital...
haiz..... tired...

just now went our with ting yau to city mall..
hihi, so happy.. thankz to him so much...
thank you..
although the thing i plan did not went smothly, but thank for fulfilling it...
i was so happy.
hihi..

one more thng, we have a farewell thinging for ting yau yesterday.. haha... talk until so late...^^
i think next time we won have tat much chance to stay that way..
but still ok... hihi.... sure will miss him much..

duno tomolo de flight i can go send o not leh... T.T
hope i can go...
hmm, really need to pack my things liao... OMG.... not yet even start packing.. not a good sign...

jia you to me.. all the best to all...
and will always miss you to him..

tired day...

as day passes by,
the day to get in to uni comes near...
and how nervous i am now,
i'm scare that i will mis bringing something to tat place
i duno..
and all my friends
sure will miss them all

well, today prepare my things
wah, so many need to do, with so little time

haha, but guess wat, i got a new laptop..
so nice neh
hahaha
so happy also
thankz mummy n pa.. ^^
i really need to thank them coz i can get in to uni... ^^
haha...

eat dinner

today we all went and have dinner with our form 6 teacher..
haha, u coulden have think that actually eating with teacher can be very fun..
and when i say fun, i really mean it.. ^^

haha.... we talk with teacher bout uni life... they give us many info.. and it was nice..
i was happy.. ^^
haha... luckly i did go...
i was able to go two places in one night... ^^
haha,

but now, i have many things need to prepare again...
i'm leaving sabah on the 30,
n i haven prepare my cloth yet..
black skirt, baju kurung... OMG...

money come out like water... T.T

hope every thing will turn out ok....

i'm starting to feel nervous now... haiz.. i think it is time i go c a movei first.. ^^

goin of soon

now everyone is going in to uni, including me, lucky enuf, i was able to get in to Um..
hha//....
well, leaving sabah to west.. hmm, something i did not think tat much, but hope i will get use to it as soon as possible.
talk to teacher bout it, and got whole lots of information from her.. so happy i talk to her..

well, many of my friends will be studying in UMS...
i sure will miss them, T.T

gambatee to all of u... ^^

a day out

went out today.. it was fun.. at least can get my mine off a while. but haha.. not that fun also..
coz i need to worry my big sis too.. ^^
so din actually shop much.. is more like bring my big sister go jln jln..
haha.. but use to it liao.. ^^
this time go out i tot i can go c movie, mana tau my sister late late, thn everything is late.. so i din have the chance to c movie with my friends.. they said it was nice.. T.T
i so long din go c movie.. hmm.. i go kacau cts they all ask thm to bring my go c movie lo..

haha...

we also talk bout go out together go eat stem boat.. also long time din go eat lo.. ^^

haha.. i miss all those time..

my life was kinda dull this few months... everyday work.. but no payment.. so..
well, i think i can get over it de... ^^

just that i have a feeling that i will be quite busy on monday..
n btw, i missed my appointment with the dentice.. T.T i forgot bout it.. how now?? T.T
i really duno wat to do .. i also din tell my mom bout it yet,... haiz.. so how? i need to wash my teeth.. if not i will get worse..

haiz.. hope everything will be ok//

no parents day

haha, 3 days without parents.. ppl will think it is fun..
of coz, in some condition, i was fun,,..
but thn, it was hard.. dispite need to send the things and need to do a whole lots of house work...
i still need to do aii the work that my pa was doin. n it was not fun

haha... haiz... but still ok la.. i can watch wat movie i wanted to watch in the tv.. haha
n that is a nice thing..
i can sleep when i wanted to... ^^

but when your parents is not around, and because u are one of the eldest in the house, there is so much responsiblity that we need to hold on to.. and we cant really do wat we wan. coz we have sisters too... and that's y...

even it was just for few days only, i realy can feel the presure..... haha... at last i;m relise from the hard work that i did.

but comming back to all the working days, well, not much happen/// but i dun really enjoy it eighter... haha... parents back mean work.. n plenty of work.. n tired..
T.T

i cant watch the movie i wanted to watch.. n going out is really a problem.. so.. nvm la.. ^^

hope i can get over with the pileof work that is waithing for me o..

答应

今天很想用华语来表达自己。
本来今天以为是一个很好的日子，但是从早上到现在都没有一个能让我开心的东西发生。
今天早上本来以为可以去CITY　ＭＡＬＬ，　但是，没去成。结果去吃了一点东西，拿了钱，去了ＣＥＮＴＲＡＬ　买了一点东西，就回家啦。
本来想散心，但到头来啊，反而使给了自己根大压力。也没有去任何地方。
嗨！没办法啦。
哪知道，回家后，本来答应要和我一起去看戏的姐姐自己跑去看戏啦。把我丢在家。多亏我这么多天都没有约朋友去看戏，因为答应了姐姐，却被她放了飞机。。有点气。上次她叫我不要去开会，叫我陪她去买点东西，我没去开会因为要陪她，但她却把我丢在家。。。没话说了。谁叫我容易骗，　容易上当。这么容易就相信人家，相信人家所答应的东西。
从小，人家说不能给我答应，应为答应了就一定要做。可是，答应了的东西不就是一定要做的吗？我真是不明白。因为，从小人家答应我的东西，很少做到。那么答应是什么东西呢？答应难道是说了就算了吗？

有时候，我心里会想，如果你不肯定可不可以做，那就不要答应我呀，免得我伤心，然后又说我小气。我不知我还可以忍受多久，因为感觉有点透不过气来了。不知何时，但感觉就要疯了。　脑袋也有点点迟钝了。。。

昨天，
我很像是活着。
今天，
感觉不像活着。
明天，
我还会活着吗？
我自己也不清楚了。
只知道眼前出现了一条
崎岖不平的道路。
但，
我还有能力继续走下去吗？

bored,......

today not much things to do.. ^^ just book some air ticket for my parents..

well, recenly i just cut my hair.. still not so use with the new look. but i dun think anyone notice i cut already.. coz the differents is not much... just that my fron hair is short now..
so not much ppl notice.. hahaha

this few days really nothing to do... i just do the house chorse..
hmm.. n not much..
made a song.. but duno nice o not the song.. well nvm la.. ^^
hope the song will come out nice..
there is still a few missing tone..
hope to get the inspirition to finish the song soon....
haha..

there is a movie i wanted to c.. but duno call who neh..
hmm.. how leh???
hiaz.. no idea..
well... hope i will be able to watch it..

btw, planning to change my skin.. but i duno change to wat.. still thinking... anyone have anyidea??? haha...
my chat box is not working anymore.. well lazy to put that in liao...
coz not moving always.. haha..

althought i have many things to do.. but i really not sure wat to do now..
everything is blank in my head...
i duno wat to think liao..
just hope days passes by.. thats all...
so bored neh...

okie la....
hope i will find something to do soon.

today not much things to do.. ^^ just book some air ticket for my parents..



well, recenly i just cut my hair.. still not so use with the new look. but i dun think anyone notice i cut already.. coz the differents is not much...

at balakong friends

study

just came back from west..
have lots of fun there,
and also learn pleanty of things.

after learning unit one of the book discourse on social action,
it really let me think many things, and see things cleary, in a different point of view,
i now c how things are fragmented, where else, it shoudn't be this way.
hmm... * fall in to deep though again

haha, i also been able to strenten on apriciation towards beauty, not as in phisicaly, but also deep within. ya, one more important thing i learn and i will always remember is that the transformation in society don't just start with indivitual, but also social transformation is also needed. not only one side, but both as well. * never though of tat until i learn this book.

ya, one more thing that is very important is that i some how manage to improve my english.. * yeah, good news to me!~~!~!
happy bout it.

i also meet alot of friend like Rani, Chia Pei, Kong Eng, Dylane, Jeeven, Soon Seng (don't know how to spell his name), khameal, Feizy, danish, nirosh, shakira, temily, and many many more.. miss u all... ^^

haha, i when to the eye of the world too./.... it was fun, mayb coz we were quite crazy in the cabin... well... haha.... no problem of being crazy once a while... ^^

lastly, hope everyone have a fun and nice day~!

time

day passes by each day.
but how many of us realise it?
once i was still a little child,
but just a turn,
i was one step closer to take responsiblity,
one step closer to become an aldut.

And yet,
we still dun realise,
that our time will never wait for us.
and it still flows away without our notice.

Time, is slow and yet so fast.
time can be so slow that we did not notice the earth is turning.
yet, it can be so fast until we did not notice it has already past.

can we say time is fast? o should we say it slow?
i dun really noe.
but i do noe, time is something that we can't buy
time is something we cannot take
o hold on to..

the effect of time can be seen every where,
but y, we still don't think it as something presous to us?
y we still wan to waise time??

May

it's been a long time since i update my blog. there is so many things happen.. ^^
first is my birthday, this year's birthday is really simple.. ^^
on the 1st may, vic n eve help me celebrate my birthday.. really thankz to them o... ^^ arigato..
thn on the 2nd, i went to beach.. with family n Bahai friend. well, it was not for my birthday, it was for twelve day of ridvan... well, really have fun there, haha... but i bring wrong cloth, so lastly ended up wearing my mom's cloth... ^^

thn later at night, i call fanny , cts, lemon, louise to go yam cha.. so just chat there... it's been a long time since i go out.. well, i seldom go out.. haha...

well, one more thing, louise n me got the same interview couses... hope we both can go in to the couses we want.. ^^

thn, yesterday, was a busy day, when we rest at night time, my big sis suddenly start to "decorate" me.. well, she some how come out with a kimono, and start dressing me up.. well, it do look like kimono.. but, kinda funny also...la.... ^^

mayb it was just me

since young, i dun really like ppl breaking promise,
like they say wan bring me to somewhere,
i will put much hope on it.
but,
once they break the promise,
the only answer i got is that we need to be flexsible,
need to c the time,
need to accept ppl breaking promise.

but, sometimes,
i really hope, that ppl can fulfill at least one promise they made to me
exspeacially some one that is important to me.
i dun like ppl making promises.

but i do make promises, ant will no mater how, fulfill it.
even thn i get scolding later.
but i always kept them.

but i really hope ppl will keep their promises.
really i hope.

today, some one said coming to c me, i did prepare, but i din even get an answer,
nor did tat person came.
this made me think of the sandakan trip.
if tat really u can't go, plz, dun promise me.

i am really scare i become someone who doesn't believe in promises people made..

a door to be open

infron me is two door, a door that looks small and timid
and the other, big and mighty

i turn to the mighty door,
thinking how to open it,
it must take all my might to open it.
But to my surprise,
when i tried to open that mighty door,
just a push,
the door came trembling down

then, i turn to the small and timid door
thinking, this door must be as heavy as stone
as hard as diamond
i gather all my might,
and give the door a push.
but, to my surprise
the door open so easily,
as if it was never been close.

the mighty door tell me,
don't judge a book by it's cover
the timid door tell me,
don't let your past be an obstacle

we always doubt how to open each door
but,
now i know how
another question comes out,
which one do i go in?

30 march 2007.....

well, i woke up today and found out that half of my family members are sick.
this means that i need to do all the work..
will, i mean ALL.... n u noe how tired tat is...
haha.... luckly my mom din really ask me to do al..
luckly for me.

the day b4 yesterday i got a sms saying that he will go to ns on sat...
which is tomolo....

one part of me felt gad that at last he is able to go, and won need to bother it anymore..
but one part of me felt sad.... T.T

haha.. i think i do need some time to overcome it de...

but you never noe....

3 month is not tat long... but when u start to count the days, it make it longer.. and longer...
haha.... stupid me

well, i'm still thinking will i go to the trip, since that its been a long time we din gether together.
but, karabunei is really a place i always go de...

haha...

but mayb70% of me will go... but a nother problem arise...
i have NO CAR>>> NO TRANSPORT....

haiz... i think i contact steph n c how la... ^^

got my result today...
it was bad...
haiz...

another day..... another day

fasting month.....
means need to wake up early... ^^
so i have been waking up early n also been sleeping late....
so wake up early + sleep late = not enuf sleep..

haha........

well, during fasting month, i usually gain weight. but this year, i loose weight T.T
tat is a terrible news for me.....
so sad..
most of my cloth already vry loose...
haiz.......
but nvm.... it is fun to fast.... but it is quite tired also..

haha..... so hope i can manage it o....

wat?

new year, a season where ppl will feel happy, will wish one another.
tat season is when all the love n blessing will go flyin around...
but, i duno why, i dont really can blen in to this season.....
i tried to blen in, but the more i try, the more i felt drop out..
haha...... so i just keep quite..... until i dun really talk much.....
and act as wat ppl wan... n not wat i am.....
it is hard, but i duno wat more can i do....
even at home, a mask was always with me...
when can i be me again? y cant anyone accept me as me...
n not as wat they hope to be...
why?

this new year, i duno wat meaning to me..
now, i also worried with my future..
wat can i do?
i really scare i did not do well, due to my health n hospital visit..
i noe i cannot blam anyone..
but i noe i tried..
so wat i get is mine...
n there is nothing i can do noe...

sometime i cannot sleep, thinking many things...
but i really duno who can i tell..
i duno who to tell..
ppl use to say tell ur friend... but the ones who i tried as friend,
didnt respond to this call..
some time i wonder, them , will they tread me as wat i tried them?
so, slowly, i start to feel lost...

now, i am wondering in a path i duno where it will leads....

new year?

first of all... Happy New Year o...
well, today is the third day of new year, which usually, ppl will go visit most of ppl de house... but i din go anywhere
hahaha....
actually i wanted to go somewhere de.. but i duno who to call to go tat place..
anyways,,, wat to do......
i can only be at home today...
n no ppl came visit as well..
haha.. this is the first time i dun really have the mood of chinese new year..
i mean, this begining of the year, i basicly din have any mood for any celebration..
haiz...
valentine, birthday, new year,.... i really duno now...
haiz,,,,....

but lastly, still need to wish everyone, happy new year.. i mean... happpy chinese new year. to every one...

hope every one have a wonderfull new year, may your wish come true.. ~!~!~!

have u every been to a misarable day??
haha..
plenty of things happen to me...
but, sometime, i dun really wan this things to happen... but i just cannot help not to let tat things happen.

haiz..... how?

sometime, i feel like will i be remember?
i mean, i always feel that can i find some one to talk to?
i mean a friend...
mayb i'm not someone ppl will remember....
but...
haiz..
mayb i'm not someone who noe how to make friend..
haiz....

i just heard the news.. although it has pass many days, but wat i can get is, when ppl have problem, but, there will always be ppl to help u

sometime, we cannot say this world is cruel.. coz, when we look around, even small little good deeds, sometime make us feel good.

at least, in this time, there is still ppl that is kind hearted enuf to help people...

but, i am no way getting health... haiz.//// but i really hope can leave a normal life..

but now, i can't even eat cold, hot, heady food..... all i can eat is normal plain food..
at least i still can eat pizza... haiz.....

well, every ones live will change, but towards wat path? a better one o towards the worse? i have a feelings that my life will change from now, but to where?
i don't really noe it my self.....

hmm.. as time passes by, i am walking towards 20 years old... but i dun really like it...
i look down, n c so many ppl younger thn me... ... haiz.............
nothing to say...

anywhere.... wish all happy new year.....

everyday seems the same...
but i really hope something different.,...
now, one year has come to an end...
some times i wonder, have i done wat i wan to do?
o have i not?

ppl has reach thier goals, but have i?
oh, another more year,
i have grown... but am i really learn that much wat i should learn?

another new year, another brand new wishes,
but have i fulfill all my wishes now?
i look at the young ones,
oh my, how big i have grown...

another new year, means another wish
can i fulfill them? i dun't noe.

have i walk the path i wanted?
but i don't have the answer.
all i can do, is continue walking, until i reach my goal...

happy new year

my day

today, i was so tired. i been teaching the whole day, plus my leg has blister..
T.T
tomolo duno how to go work
whole my leg pain, coz yesterday de high heels.
haiz.
tomolo is winter day.
how a?
duno how
hope can go home early.
one more thing, i haven buy my cloth for working..
die lo
duno wat to wear...
haiz......................

start work

i started work last week..
it is been i think two weeks from now.
feeling tired...
i mean vry tired
hais./.....
^^
but still ok la i think..
christmas, hope got holiday
but i scare dun have o
haiz

my house in a mess now, my mom making pinata.
hope can help her, but cannot
well, nvm la... ^^
hahaha

hope i can stand walking to work

ya, tty is going to ns, hope he will be ok lo.. ^^
jia you

so tired~!~!~!~!

so tired from exam....
haiz
but stil.. jia you o.... ^^
few more days to go~!~!~1

wat to do?

sometime, i dun think i can stand the house...
wat am i talking about?
i also not sure...
but i dun think i like the house anymore..
everyday, only they talk that wat we need to do..
when they ask us wat we wan, but, when we say what we one,
our voice is being cover up with all their words
wat could i say, sometime, i see things much more then them
coz tat is wat i am good of, but they only listen to what other ppl say
n dun believe their own daughter...

sometime, i mean all the time, i feel lonely,
but wat can i do? nothing
y\? what can i do?
i am sad, yes, vry sad,
i duno how can i be happy.
i am depresse...... i duno what should i do
when can i got the believe of my family?

how? how?
life without a listener, life without a ppl to listen
lonely... dark
cry in the dark
but what could i do?
can anyone tell me?
i duno....

a life with family, but i dun feel them
life with friends, but i feel lonely
wat can i do?
i don't know...
just feel to voice my voice now....
but i noe i cannot.

thinking deeply

i just finish my convocation yesterday, but i dun feel a thing now.
i duno wat is happening to me now..
i really duno...

bad luck?

sometimes, i been thinking, do u believe in bad luck?
well, yesterday me day is bad luck
guess wat?

well, i woke up at 8.. not that i wanted to... but i was wake up by the voice of my grandma.. not forgetting that i always wakes when there is voice..
haha, well, i when to sleep at 2.30 n wake up at 8, so guess wat, i ran out from room n sleep at sofa.. (bad idea)
coz not til 10 minit, my grandma come asking me y slep at the sofa...
well.. my answer was so stupid... coz the room was hot.... hahaha

thn my mom say that we need to go out to go for raya..
wat~!~! raya, when i'm having sore through???
har? wat to do... just eat la./...
thn it started to rain
n my pa bring us to go servey, coz my mom wans to buy some paper..
when i reach home.. it is 4.. children class..
i thought i don't need to go.. mana tahu, my sister wans to bring the children to park.. which means i need to drive,... duno y my sister dun't wan to drive.....
thn hor, the car cannot start...
stupidcar.
thn play at there la...
thn come back time the car also cannot start.
again.
thn the arlam when off..... wah.,.. everyone was looking at us.... ..
wah... i so hope i was not there
thn my dad came...
so happy..
but i need to send the children back home... the worst part is that my big sister no need to follow, coz she dun noe the place... wat the....
i reach home at 7.30. guess wat, my tuition starts at 7.30
meaning to say i am late..
i reach tuition at 8.20
wah.. not yet eat my dinner..
T.T
study till 9.30 reach home
eat things thn i doze off at sofa .. coz too tired. my big sister calls me to sleep at my room
but guess wat, i was dreaming n i was scolding her..
wah... my family laught at me...
so cham o...
T.T

hope this few days will be better for me~!~!~

hope? light?

i'm lost now...
duno where to go
walking alone..
yes, i dun't reallt noe how to comunicate with ppl.
i basicly noe nothing.
so?
my life goes trought many things, some terrible things that i dun wish other will walk tat path
there was no helping hand, n i face everyday with doub.
wat can i do?

to talk where no ppl is listening, how can i communicate?
i really don't know.
passing each day is a pain
ya, no feelings of the real me review in my face
how fake is it?
yet, i been say, by almost everyone i noe,
but have anyone really listen b for wat i feel b4 telling me wat i need to do??

i use to think that i will have a sholder for me to lean to...
but i found none.
wat i go across each day, my problems,
i dun think any one noe....
hahaha...... i laught at my self
how useless am i.....

useless

galz?

yesterday when to kk....
haha.. bunch of galz....
so will be vry vry vry funny coz gals do talk
when i was walking with them, i started thinking... sometimes, gals are really important to galz..
haha.... funny huh...
yesterdat, whole kk was pack...
coz hari raya was near, n tat day is depavali.
as i was looking at the streams of car, and look at everyones faces,
i think, wow, this is such a busy place, but once i glance at the blue sea, i felt a different way,
sometimes, life can be vry busy, but in all this busy times, there always be a place where it is co calm, a place where it can bring a new hope for you.

well, i spend most of my time window shopping, and it was a vry long time since i window shop,
i really miss those times, when wat i have is only time....
but now, the only thing i dun have is also time..
haha.....

btw, yesterday as i came back, i saw behind my house, a flower, in the middle of the bushes,
so nice n beautiful, it refreshes my day.... i think , i will refreshes ur day as well.....

a day?

wat a day..
everyday studying..
hope everything will go smothly...
jia you o me..~!~!~!

new look

a brand new look for a bran new me.....
haha... hope so la...
but i been thinking many things this few days..
haiz
i dun noe wat to say... meaning speachless.
but i just will live my like usual...
change my attitude a bit to more better..
hope i can make it
n be happy,
really happy....

my wish for my self, pass my exam with flying colours
n be healty.

a day of living.. a day of life

ppl always think wat they can do after they grow up.......
i hope to think so.... but to tell the truth, i'm a afrait to think....
not because i dun wat to think, but i'm scare to think.
i really hope i do not have any problems, but i cannot deny that the fact,
i really have problem.
i dun dare to face the truth, i dun dare to ask.
i fear that wat i fear most come true.
i always think in the middle of the night, wat if wat i fear most come true?
what will i do?
how will my life be?
wat can i do?

living a day, means a life to me.
i really hope everything will be ok with me.

today just have a fight with my family....
haiz.. now, i dun feel like anything.
i really duno who can i trun to now....
use to hide myself in my own coner. now i start to ask my self, when can i go out?
i seldom show my feelings, happy o sad,
a smilling face was on my face,
but wat is whithin? i my self not sure.
but i noe i need to be strong, but i do hope a for break.
i hope for a sholder, i hope for a life

hope i will be ok, hope i will be fine,
hope i will be strong enuf to face everything
i noe, where i have a hope, there will be a life..
well, living.. is life

moon cake festival

today is moon cake festival...
yeah.....
means nice food, nice drink n all......
hihi.... although feel bit not happy today... plus now aa n in major pain, plus today exam is 100% terrible, but i think i will be ok la
just tat i canot go out... T.T
haiz... nvm la....
happy moon cake festival lo..... ^^
to everyone n also most important me~!~!~!~!~!

another day

haiz...... time flys.... n i'm going to sit for my exam next month..
not kidding... NEXT MONTH..
haiz..... die lo me... duno how o... now starting have nightmares.... cannot sleep well... ~!~!
my nightmare is coming near...
am i prepare? am i?
now is my exam time... hmm.. ppl must think wat am i doing here now? shoulden i be studying now?
but the point is i been reading for like whole day liao....
need a bit rest.... so come in fron the com just to update my blog....
n c any news to 8 also... haha
btw, i cannot just sit infron the books rite?
i been sleeping with them... basicly with books 24 hours... (i'm nuts)
so need to get of the books a while....
i'm feeling not well now... a bit scare of my health////... hope nothing bad happen to me... (choi choi)
lastly, wish every one who sitting for exam.. jia you jia you n jia you o....
especially ME,..~!!~~!~!~!~!
jia you o!~!~!~!~!~

btw, i just recover my chat box... feel free so tell me anything there...
press tag.. n u can c the chatter box

at last..

at last fihish my seni project..
haha.. din sleep for 24 hours...
miss those time...
all come together n help each other........
n finishing the art work...
so happy...
hahahahaha...
gong xi gong xi my self coz done my project.. ^^
hahahahhahahahhaah

...

teacher just told me tat i need to pass up my project at next web... die.... lo.......
haiz... jia you o me

today

since a long time that i din write my blog..
hahaha
today not much happen... but now i duno how to finish my art project... omg.......
haiz
i have only one week but i haven finish half...
i duno wat to do... so fan o....
T.T
but anyway... i need to jia you....
jia you jia you o me..~!~!~!

movie

wah...~!~! now only i know that sometimes, cartoons will be also quite scary....
haha.... starting to do my art now... busy busy busy,... T.T
really tiring....
but i sure can do it on time...
tomolo is the choose life thinging...
haiz,,,,.......
start so early..... duno can wake up o not..
thn hor, duno how to go somemore...
i think tomolo wil be ok de la.... ^^
+hope so.......

thinking.....

hmm... i'm keep on thinking... so many things to think... but no conclution....
hahah,....
u noe wat i'm thinking? i duno wat colour to put in to my art work....
haiz........
noe just slimply filling in the space
n the colour looks so stupid... =='
well, life is still the same.. just with the presure of STPM.....
haiz...
starting to get some pimples.... haha.. some konon...
today i came across a funny thing. i when to one of the govement derpartment to get some poster, thn i need to take some books too. so i went for the second time... n guess wat, i got scolding from the pegawai there..
haha.... but lastly he still let me take..... luckly.. if not a, tat reeve must belanja me lo...
well... one good news is that now i dont need to go for monthly check ups after my stay at the hospital... but instate, i only need to go for 1/2 year checkup... so happy....
hope i will get healthier.....
hope everyone i noe gets healthier....
n my family too... ^^

wah~!~!

haha..... since a long time i din come n visit my blog...
haha
every things seems ok la...
but just tat my result is terrible
haiz....
wat to do..... i prefer taking care of my health now
if not a... haiz.... going always to the hospital
not fun at all.....
so which one i wana choose? of cao health la...
but i hope to get good result at my finale exam o....
hahaha
think too much
btw, i'm gona finish my exam tomolo!~!~!~!~!
yeah... goood news for me...
but no holidays..
coz got extra class...WAT THE
n during extra class i need to go to hospital...... haiz~!~!~!

at last

at last i done reformating my com..... haha.. can on9 as usual liao/.... so happy,....
ya, tomolo is my driving test.. so scare... hope can do all the best..
hahaha...... hope i dun stress up.. >< Lol//...
wish me luck lo..... ~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!

hospital...

i hate going to the hospital.... but i still need to continue going till ogos...
not sure is it till ogos leh.. mayb will be longer
T.T
u noe, i am so sick of going there... it will take me the whole day.
but wat can i do?
i am sick, n yet i am those type which not really now how to take care of my self.
so, sick, still going to school as usual. i think not many ppl noe that i'm sick..
hahaha...
hmm, today i did a type of test where i have so many wires on my head
n then they let me c something like a point(but much more bigger) then the back ground keep on moving
n let me dizzy..
later on the doctor put another two wires behind my ears, n let me listen to some really irritating noise.
so guess, my graph goes up n donw. haha... that doctor say mayb it is ok, coz i was irritated by the sound
i really hope so... few days of break
thn i need to do to mr scan(if i'm not wrong)
haiz... tat will take me the whole dfay.
not fun
byw, i took my ping pong n interact pic. haha, they look funny. but nvm la.... ^^
good news, i got band 5 in my muet.... so happy liao...
hahahahahahah
ok.i need to go momom lo.....
later will more sick.. haha

???????

wat days is this few days... many things happen at school. n i sure know many ppl had read o hear bout it.
haha.... somethings i start thinking, y things like this will happen? aren't we 19 o 20 years old ppl? mayb it is the time for us to c things in a different way. sometime i feel that at school, small things looks big for us, but for those ppl who had gone to work n deal with other ppl at socialty, i think this is just a small problems... ( thats wat my mom say usualy)
well, i admit it that i'm not those type who can forget things easily, o go over one things tat easily. i also has temper, n a bad one....
haiz, need to change tat.
just tat i been thinking many things this few days after so many thing occor,....... i need to stay calm, i think i really need. many things i think, " xi guan jiu hao la"
mayb once u have been use to it, then, it will not hurt tat much, o be a big thing to u...

yes

tomolo start schooll.....
din play much at this holiday, coz was in the hospital..
but i went for movies n also the fun fair..
hihi
so happy.. ^^

i'm here again

there are so many things i wan to say, but i dun noe how to say...
well, this few days is exam... but i'm sure i will not do well in this exam...
haiz... not tat i did not study,
but if u r at my house, n u can study, i really respact u...
every day it is only fighting,
wat kind of house is this??
well, my sickness is getting bad, n i dun noe how bad it will go...
hope that i will get well soon.
i did not when to the doctors, because no ppl bring me there.
haiz, i really dun noe wat kind of life is this
today, i canot c well, my eye has some problem, sometime, i'm really scare that i dun not have time for this world..
i reallt scare....
so i really need to appriciat life...
all that i can life....
although there are not many ppl noe bout this... o really care bout this... there is some one who care bout me, but their hadr work also have its border....
well, the only thing i have for my self now is hope. n hope i will live on.

hinese exam ... so headact.....

today is my chinese exam... so headact o me......
u ne, i actuay fnish red... but i dun remember a thing... ithink now is the time for me to be hard working already... haiz....
so, today's paper is like OMG... u ne at i mean...
i meet cikgu lim, my class teacher... he doesn't look ok... i think because i did bad in his paper... haiz.. irealy wuld not like taht to happen ....
s now feeling hrrible, terrilble...
plus, all the com in the librrary now is been ue by my friend to play games.... so u now how i feel now...
but wat cani do.. forgt t tell u where i am now...
i am sti in schol library,,....
playig the comm...
ot fun at all....
will be going out asap...
hrgh....
i really pe so...
b4 the teacher come scolding me .....
^^
just for now...

p.s my cm was strick by lightning... so this is how i enden up here now~!~!~~!

wat a day

haha, today i start off my day by calling people up from bed... i call him from 8.00 morning until 9.00 am... one hour, i call to his hp... but no answer, thn at last, i call to his house.. this of coz made him wake....
haha, but he is already late to go for tuition...
thn after that, i help abby to find for ho ching.. haha.. tat also took me a long time..
thn i when to tuition. study there till 11.30 n after that, me, abby, ting yao, ho ching, mei choon when to eat pizza.
haha
still ok la.. i n abby belanja ho ching.
later on, i went to find for mothers day present.
ting yao is having a hard time choosing his present..
haha.. we choose till like 4.00. then, we go damai to but stuff for de cake... T.T i cannot bake cake for my mom. so sad.
thn i when to teach children class of coz..
haha, they are still so cute...
thn here am i, on da com.. ^^

hope tomolo's mothers day will be fun ~!~!~!

其实很多男孩都不知道……

其实很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子在冲他们发火后自己却转过身不断啜泣。
其实很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子从来不会真正生他们的气，因为她是真的喜欢他在乎他。
其实很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子只会对她自己喜欢的男生唠唠叨叨，也只会对自己喜欢的人耍性子。

你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，她根本不会来在乎你关心你，她是怕你做错事情。
你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，她根本不会对你发火，不会冲你撒娇，不会让你哄她--因为在别人面前她都是淑女。
你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，你根本就没有本事让她哭泣，即使让她生气也不会超过2天！

而这一切都只是因为她喜欢你，
而这一切都因为你还不够在意她不够懂她……

于是，你们时常争吵，你认为她脾气不好，她认为你不够迁就她……
于是，你们总是冷战，你以为她不喜欢你，她以为你不在乎她……
于是，你们总莫名其妙的彼此错过，也许擦身而过本身就是一种悲伤着的无奈与幸福……
要知道，凄美依然是美的一种，并且美的绚丽悲凉而沧桑，那是更加的美~

因为她喜欢你，所以才偶尔冲你发火，时常对你撒娇。
因为她喜欢你，所以才会生你的气；而又是因为喜欢你，她才不会去生气那么久。

你可知道，每个女孩子的心都是水晶做的，晶莹剔透，很容易就碰伤摔碎。
你可知道，每个女孩子都是不设防的，你那么轻易就闯进她的心，走的时候却只留下伤害！

她从来都不知道，这个世界上根本没有可以让她哭的人，因为真正值得让她哭的那个人根本舍不得让她哭……
她会很矜持，她会很骄傲，她会很冷淡，她总是嘴里说着“你走开”，心里却一直叫你留下。
请竖起你的耳朵，也请打开你的心，去听她内心真正的呼唤吧，而不是她嘴里的口是心非！
她会看着你转身，然后她跟着你转身；当侧身而过的时候，你看不见她的泪，那是滂沱在心里的泪~

如果你喜欢她，请多陪陪她；如果你喜欢她，请多宠宠她；如果你喜欢她，请多让让她……
如果你真的喜欢她，请你去听听她内心的声音，那是一种呐喊！
请你张开臂膀拥抱她！
在爱情世界里，你们总是彼此伤害着，彷佛这样才能证明自己爱得激烈，爱到轰轰烈烈！
可是，爱情没有孰对孰错，更没有你比我多我比你少的概念。
你爱她，她爱你，如此就已经足够，不要试图让彼此受伤，让彼此更加脆弱悲伤。
你们彼此相爱需要的是温暖、是幸福、是甜蜜、是快乐，而不是伤害。

不要用沉默宣战，不要互不相让，更不要什么话都不讲就漠然离去。
要知道，当你离去的时候，你的眼睛起了雾，她的眼角泛着泪光……
越是安静，战火就越传，这是冷战，也是彼此的伤害。
无论以后怎么的复合，那些伤口是曾经存在的，是你怎么也抹不去的……

请给她一个拥抱，用你的拥抱去化解她心里的悲伤与眼角的泪水。
她喜欢你，她绝对不会拒绝你的拥抱，她只会害怕你的冷漠、转身的无声安静。
请记住，相爱的人不要宣战，因为带来的伤害超出你的预计。
也请记住，只要你喜欢她，没什么是你接受不了的，只要你喜欢她，就喜欢她的一切一切。

那么她所有的小性子、所有的坏脾气、所有的臭毛病在你眼里都是撒娇。
也请记住，她喜欢你，需要的不是你真的转身，她嘴里说着的也不是她真心话。
她只是想你宠她，想你抱她……

muet>?

today is my muet speaking.
hmm... terrible o...
haiz.. wat to do....
but , still ok la... ( i hope so)
today i settle my tshirt..... hope it will turn out rite... i really hope.. n the time.. hmm...
haiz.. the library thing some more... headact....
so wat can i do?

mky birthday

yesterday was my birthday. at first, i din hope for anything... coz not much ppl wish me at school...
but when i reach home, chun ping call me to wish me,... thn i got many msg from my old old friend... haha.. they all wish me happy birthday..
afterthat, my family bring me to have dinner outside..... so happy. my pa also give me a tilam... so nice,,,, i can sleep well now.
thn i when out with my friends to easy way at beverly........ haha.... just chat chat n talk talk there. thn cut cake...
afterthat, i when to tanjung aru with ting yao, tet san, n yew. haha... we walk to the beach,..... so nice..... n cute too... ^^]
thn i went home... that is how i celebrate my birthday this year... ^^

hiaz

haiz.... duno wat to think... haiz.
haiz............. so luan now....
haiz

some times...... but really?

sometimes.. i feel that i can share my feelings.. but really, when i think back... can i??
i feel sad sometimes... but, can i feel that way? o it is something wrong?
sometimes, i wana find a person to talk too.. but who can i find?
sometimes, i think that i can go over with a problem, but i know i can't.
sometimes, i wan to share my happyness, but than only i noe that i have no one to share my feelings to.
sometimes, i feel like wan to cry, but at last my tears flow inside to my heart.
sometimes, i feel empty but wat can i fill tit in???

haha... manything i pass just like that.. with no feelings n all.. the only thing that make me going is time... n also my will to continue study.
when i feel bad, i really hope someone would noe.... but is there/?

just like today, when i talk something, i been scold.
n when i wanted something, i also been scold.
i need to listen to everything, without saying no.
i'm afaird to say no. but thn, ppl say i do not have my own point of view. everything is needed to be done readly for me.
when i talk, ppl will not listen, so wat is the use if i talk?
i have learn to no talk. just listen. i think tat at least will not hurt my feelings which is oledi empty.
i do not hope for anything now.... nothing....

today... thursday..`!~!~~!
hihi.... i got a meeting today...
finish around 3.
yes.. ta day at least i got talk with her... ^^
so happy... BERJAYA...~!~!~!~!~
need to study now./. i dun wan to fail..~!!~!

tuesday.. Holiday~!

hihi.. today is holiday..~!~!~
at last i go c movie~!~!
haha... i went to c i'm not stupit......
the movie is so touching.... LOL... cried at cinema.... T.T
haha..... i'm really happy today..
ya, i went for a walk at sutera harbour too.... WAH... so so so so fun o....
the place is so nice.... except it is vry vry hot... ^^
well, i spend my time looking at the fishes...
so cute....
.....
today, i am so happy.. but i also need to finish my work today......
hope i can finish it o
^^
jia you me...~!~!~!

hmm....

haiz.. i fail my chinese again....
feeling not so happy... haiz.. but who will noe.....
hmm.... i just feel down this few days... i need to smile, so that ppl will not noe my feelings,...
so sad..
well, today, i study mat. matermatik most easy chapter.. matric......
i also need to prepare my shirt de design...
haiz
so sleepy.... n tired too.....

hmm....

haiz.... there is so many things in my heart, but i cannot say out.
sometimes, i really wan to find someone to talk too.. but... haha, who i have??
haiz.. so many things i just feel like scream it out... but can i?
sometimes, when i'm sad? i just can cry in to my heart... can anyone noe?
haha... ppl will think that if i dun tell ppl, how tat ppl will noe??
haha.. but wat choice do i have?
i rather choose to be the one to be hurt, rather thn the one who hurts ppl feelings.
somethings, i really feel that i do not have friends at all....
haha
lonely
i don't know how long i can stand... i really don noe..
now, even writing out my feelings is a problem?
how i'm going to stand ?

wah!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

tired~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
so many work to do... with so little time... T.T
din sleep for 3 days liao doin work.. T.T
now still continue work ... n i have not done my homework......
omg... how o...
haiz... today need to stay up late again....
wat to do.... if wan study thn must work... ^^
GAMBATE to ME~!!~!~!

when out

hmm, today i went out to center point with my friends... i when around 11 morning, to help tty c his things for the fish tank..... thn when to center piont.. continue finding until 12.30.. OMG.. n we haven found the things..
meet louise n steph at watson... not watson actually, i think i should say in forn of the stair...
thn walk together lo.. wait for ppl...
thn i when to take my ring... hmm... fit in nicely... so happy.
we duno where to go.. so guess wat, of coz waist our time walking around.. HAHAH
we took photo together.. haha, long time din take photo... hmm, since when liao a??? haha, forgot
while waiting for the pictures to develope..... we play games... until my hand pain... T.T
thn we when play bowling... wah.. so happy.... ^^
hihi
but thn, after finish playing, when we r walking out, i of coz did the thing i can do best - JATUH... in bowling center... not fun... haha
now having mager pain on my body.. T.T
haiz.. .duno y i always fall down de....
but nvm la....
haiz.. fall till i lay down.. i quickly jump up.. but i noe many ppl saw, coz some one scream...
wah.... duno where to put my face.. haha....... but still ok la... i am use to do that,...
so i think i am vry good in falling down....something wrong with my leg i think./
hmm.... reach home now thn continue my life, work of coz.....
but i need to go take my bath first... ^^

monday

monday......
haha.. a day i use to be blue.. but today, haha, i did my homework... wah.... so li hai eh
i seldom do my homework de.. but duno y this time will do my homework.. haha.. did it for 3 hours...
hmm... i think i'm getting good... `1~!~!!~!
haha.....
today.. fasting of coz.. hmm..... i'm getting thinner o...
can c clearly./..
y does some ppl won get thin when they fast???
haiz.....
hmm... now need to think wat to eat tomolo.....
wat a/..????
haha... need to bake bisckut o.... ^^
hmm... duno how is the tast???
haha i hope will be ok....

YES~!~!~!~!

at last finish my exam.. although i pass up hmm i think 2 blank papers.. ~!~! haha... first time doing that.. y? coz i did not bring my watch... hahaha.. thn hor, got scare thn forgot everything... hahaha
really, sometimes, little things happen in our life can sometime make a big change.... HAIZ.. so meaning to say, i will mostly fail my papers.. not just one, but two of them...T.T
well, holiday is just in the corver. n i duno wat to do...... stay at home? doing nothing? i really need to thing something usefull to do...
well, now i'm having headact on how to pay all the pans???
wat la my sister..... she is the one who ask to get tat all panz.. n ask will finish with the payment.. but thn, wat happen,?? she hutang two ppl.. each person 100 ove,... headact a,,,,,...!~!~! thn all throw to me to think how..... SO So So So So So angry~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
she first say got a way to ask them to buy, but look at now???
wat can i do???
having headact now~!~! how to pay off the depts>?????????
well, one thing i noe is that my sister is not giving me any cooperation at all,.... i really mean it.. HAIZ\1`1`1~!~!~!
wat can i do?
having holiday is not really a good thing for me. i need to stay at home.. n i basicly can't do anything....
so? da point is i hate long term holiday...
nothing to do~!

today

today is the first day of fasting.... din did much things......
hais.... hungry...^^
wish everyong happy fasting..
today i cannot go out swimming with my friends... so sad o.....
but never mind la..

saturday

well, saturdays is the day that i will be so busy, that i don't have time for my own self.. T.T
most of my friends will know that i seldom come out during saterday coz i need to teach at 4.00 and have my tuition on 7.30..
haha, it was somethings different this saturday.
i start off m day at 6.00. wake up of coz.. thn go to putatan, to help uot at a cause for the st. fransis guls. it is thier camp n we when to help uncle kang.
thn when i came back, it was already 1.30.. OMG.. really need a nap.
so of coz i when to sleep. sleep till 3.00.. thn prepare to go bhai ccenter to join thier ayyam i ha children party. so when i reach home again, it was 6.00. take my bath, thn prepare my things, there i was to go to tuition...
haha, that was my whole saturday, boring huh? HAHA....
so how was ur saturday?
mine was vry tiring, plus that i did not sleep on friday.. how could i sleep when i was sad?? haha,
so meaning it was like.... DAMn tired
haha, luckly my eye din swallen up.
ok.. ^^ need to continue my sunday life o

busy busy busy

such a busy day.. every day study stady n stady.. haiz..
pening liao...
today is assembly.. thn was librarian's meeting.. so fan o... hai.z... i so wish that i do not need to take care of the library.... T.T
but wat can i do.. not that the teacher will listen....
so today was extra busy with all the classes that need to be attain.. T.T
SO tired.~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
but i need to finish my chinese.. wah.. not happy.....
wat to do ........
gam ba tee o me~!~!

when a gal cries

A girl wont cry easily,
Except in front of the person who she love the most, she becomes weak.
A girl wont cry easily, only when she love you the most, she put down her ego.
Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you, please hold her hands firmly, she's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.
Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you, please don`t give her up, maybe bcoz of your decision, you ruin her life.
When she cries right infront of you,When she cries bcoz of you,Look into her eyes,Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling?
Think.Which other girl have cried with pure sincerity,In front of you,And bcoz of you?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
She cries not because she is weak,She cries not bcoz she wants sympathy orpity,
She cries,Because crying silently is no longer possible,the pain, hurt, n agony have become too big aburden to be kept inside.
Guys,Think about it,If a girl cries her heart out to you,And all because of you,
Its time to look back on wat u have done,Only you will know the answer to it.
Do consider it,Coz one day,It may be too late for regrets,It may be too late to say "im sorry".
To my friends...Ponder this message seriously.
Don`t do this to a girl,You may regret for the rest of your life.
Maybe in your life,she's the only one that love YOU the most.
Remember this lesson...
Especially to all the guys out there!
Do appreciate the girl you really love no matter how!

today

just come back from ranau....so tired...
was sick the pass 6 days... haiz...
rili sick..... at least now i can start eat already.. if not, my food is just soup with rice.. T.T
well, i wana go bai nian......
this year so nothing to do...
like the chinese new year is so boring..
luckly i still was able to go some place.. hahaha...
need to be happy of that.
well, need to go take bath n eat dinner liao... ^^
wish everyone happy new year o... ^^

today..

so sleepy n tired..
try to think u hv not been sleeping since 3 weeks ago. not meaning u din even sleep at all, but u just slept for like 4 hours a day, wat u feel the next day? sleepy all rite,
that iswat i felt today.
sleepy n need to study, OMG.. tat was so hard... chinese, eco n math, all are hard sublect.. haiz... kesian me...
thn after tat, after school, i need to teach the marching team...
so kesian me o... already sleepy like hell, thn need to teach somemore
HAIZ.~!~!
comeback, at first wana just rest, who noes kena scold... T.T
so sad...
but at least tomolo is sports day.. saringan.. haha
ok, i wana sleep lo.. bb lo..
nite nite

day passes fast

few more days thn it will be the sports day n chinese new year.
well, i'm busying with sport day now, n do not have time for chinese new year.. tat is bas..
haiz, nearly lost my voice everyday.chinese new year is coming near.. but my house is in a mess...
wat i can do?
nothing la..
well, there is been many happy things happening in my group of freinds.. haha,
most of my friend has gal o boy friend liao.. so happy for them... ^^
hope all the best to u all o.. ^^
haiz..... chinese new year go where leh??
hmm, i wana get lots n lots of ang pao... (wah, so tan xin o me)
haha, but tat is the fun part of chinese new year rite,,.. ^^
today need to finish my homework o... &^^

today

i hate it....... i sometimes feel tired too......
haiz... i duno wat happen to me today, i was so in a bad mood...
angry, but i duno how to evpress my feeling. i forgot how to be angry
i really duno how
i'm scare, duno how to sad o cry o angry
although i really mad.. but....
haiz wat to do..
when can i be myself without been say by other people?
when?

wat is the differents between like n love?

In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you love, you get happy.
In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.
If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.
In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.
In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.
You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.
But you can always smile and stare into the eyes of the one you love.
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.
When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.
The feeling of like starts from the ear.
But the feeling of love starts from the eye.
So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever

first day of sports

hmm, today is monday, a b,lue day. but luckly today i can go for sport.............~!~!~!~!~!~!!~!~!
haha, i was change to red... so sad o...
but still ok la... can survive..... ^^ at least last time i use to hang around at red house.
hmm, teach perbarisan.......... still ok...
haha, but need to speak in bm........
hmm,
tomolo holiday, yeah, can sleep late.. so happy..

clean da room

yes.. clean my room.. haha, took all the old books out from my room. now i have extra space to put my cloth. at last i have a space to put my cloth.. ^^
thn i was a lot of cleaning... wipe all my things.. ^^ chinese new year is near.
i come across many of my old things... my letters.. haha, not only tat i noe am actually a write letter lover. my letters is one BOX... OMG>. tat is a lot.
n of coz is my ang pao pack. there are all so nice. been keeping them since young n now i found out that i do not have much space left.
thn i come across a lot of pictures. i was so small last time.. i mean tiny.. ^^
now i have grown alot.. ^^ happy of that. at last... ^^ hahah
all those funny pic taken. haha, miss those old time.. haiz.. old liao now.....
not fun...
but anyways, all those pic a only can keep them as my memory....
well, one good things is i acn wear many cloth liao.. at last... i usually cannot wear all thosecloths, but now i can liao.. need to be happy of tat.
sometimes, i feel scare that i am growing old.. but i cant change the fake that i am growing old...
haiz.. just hope that i can use.. i mean must use my time well.. ^^
wish me luck

7.25pm 星期二

今天，是2006年上课的第一天，踏上害怕的心情去上课了。
这一个星期，心情不好，不知什么地方错了。
可是，被忽烈的感觉却越来越强烈。觉得自己不怎么重要。
到了学校，尽量让那不安的心，稳定起来。
和朋友谈起话来。但，这无法让我的心情平复下来。
不知为何，我好像逃避。不想在讲话。
我怕我自己再也牚不下我的心情了。好像大声地哭出来。 让眼泪把我心里的苦衷都冲出来。
但不知为何，还是哭不出来。
每天晚上，失眠的日子，我不想再拥有了。
好像找一个热，把我心里的话告诉他，和他聊聊。
没有朋友的感觉不好，被忽烈的感觉更不好。
到底有多少个人明白我心里在想什么。
可能，我是一个很难相处的人吧？
觉得自己好失败。哈哈，真可笑。
觉得快要崩溃了。可是不能。我如何是好呢？

new year....

happy new year everyone....
haha, yesterday din spend my new year eve with my class mate... no ppl call thou... T.T
but luckly haha, celebrate with all the bahai friends.. haha...
well, i at 6.30, i when to uncle yon house to eat staem bot.. haha, so nice...
haha, first eat rice, thn eat steam bot. so fun.. it was also wai ho birthday..
haha... when in the middle of eating.. o should i say just finish eat, thn no curen.. haha
tat time, we all take the cake out.. of coz only youth la.. all the adulth at infron eat...haha
thn we sung birthday song, thn cut cake. haha, so fun o...
the cake also so nice.. yum yum...... white chocolate cake... i love it... ^^
haha, thn my sis fren come.. go to peter's house eat bbq.. yeah.. haha, fun o... ^^
there we meet many old friends n also new de.. ^^
haha.. thn play "cho dai di" with them.. loose de need to eat chicken wing.. hahaha...
so funny o.. haiz.. me kena once..
haha but the boys kena more time... hahahaha.. ke lian them
thn when new year.. we all wish each other happy new year.. it was so fun n happy.. haha, all old one year liao.
thn we when to sean sean house.. swimming... hah. swimming at midnight? nuts rite... hah
but new year ma.
haha, swim till 2.30.. thn when to sean house c movie.. but me chat with yen nie..
thn we sleep around 5.00, with the happyness in my heart... ^^ new year, mean a new day, a new hope, a new life.
today, wake up at 8.. haha, rally nuts.. but stay at sean house.. haha, all the uncle n aunty when to sean house, chit chat.. haha
thn around 2.50 afternoon, i go back home.. ^^
uncle chew send me..
but one thing, i can't send sms on new year. so sad o.. T.T was not intime to wish someone happy new year.. sorri o

christmas

yeah... it is christmaz........
but haha.... fall a sick... T.T
so meaning last christmas eve spen my whole day on bed... luckly i'm ok now.. hahahahaahahah
yes..... so bored o this christmas... haha.. at least i got something to do at night..
haha, go sing k at sean's house.. yeah.. but i cannot swim T.T
so so so sad.. since long time i hadt gone swimming.....but when i have the chance, i cannot go swiming.. wawawawa ='O *sob
haha... so today need to show off my teruk de voice.. singing.. haha.. but usually i duno how to sing thier songs de.. coz all english song.. cannot have chinese song de......
haha........
well, if i have my luck today, i can go c movie... but if not.. thn cannot.. haha... have not ask my mom yet... but told my pa.... haiz... how a??
think.. wish me luck thn....
haiz..~!~!~!~!~!~!~!

Dong Zhi Kuai Le

haha.. today is dong zhi... so happy...
haha, early morning can eat tang yuan.. ^^
hihi, but thn need to go out to work.... T.T
tat is not really fun... hihi,
yesterday night when out yam cha after youth gathering... meet many
of my friend there.. ^^ well we yam cha till quite late yesterday ......
hshahaha.. luckly din get scholding from my mom... haha...
but we all sit at the coffee shop there, really just yam chA,,,,.. we just order drinks.. haha..
so funny o.. ppl stil got order food.. but we this bunch of youth just sit there n drink water...
haha...
yeah... now got tang yuan eat.. haha.. tonight's dinner must b vry nice de.. ~!~!~ HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA
so happy.... but from today, haiz.. need to prepare the things for chinese new year liao.... ai,,,,,.....
haha... jia you o... i need to finish my home work thn only i have time to prepare for chinese new year lo... ^^
wana go eat tang yuan lo... hahahaha...
write my blog other time ^^

some pic

yeah.~!~!
pozing for picture~!

mua sis

my pic..

yeah... just camo back..

yeah.... just come back from TENOM... haha... a family camp...
it was fun, but i was sick.. haha... tat is not fun....
well, conduct the zipopo.. haha... so happy.... ^^ it was ok i think....
my cousin like the hippo... haha... n meet my niece... she is so cute.. just tat at this age need to be an aunty, haha,, tak biasa la...
well, only 41 ppl when to this camp this year.. the funny thing is tat u noe wat? all the aunty n uncle haha... vry vry vry vry playful.. sing karaok for the whole nite till 12.30.. hhahahahaha
SO LI HAi..
n they bring us go eat xiao ye.. haha.... nice o...
haha.... have tast many kinds of weidddd fruit.. haha....
thn wen jln jln at the park... DAMN tired...
haha.....
well, i think this came is way too cold.. all the time is not really fix dead.. haha... like this camp..
haha, we had dinner together with my uncle also.. haha... so fun
^^

wen to kk

haha... today when to kk to get glasses n do all the work...
but thn, u noe wat happen? mom n pa came back n ask me to do the air ticket.....
aiz... ke lian ting yao need to wait outside around 2 to 3...
haiz... luckly he go do his things first,...
thn u noe wat, i ask my sis to help, but thn, she dun wan....
so i rush all the things.. n thn when reach kk, i forgot to do all my things.. cannot thing liao..... HAIZ....
but luckly i sempat buy the spec....haha... so hard to find those spec.... thn buy cd.. for com de....
thn ting yao go buy his slipper... haha....
thn go pick his sister.. thn go home lo... ^^
haha... so happy... my ko ko come back for holiday liao.... ^^
haha.. can go yam cha with him~!!~!!~!~!~!
but now need to work...~!
HAIZ.....

yesterday

haha... yap.. yesterday when to bahaicenter..... ^^ got one uncle came from england to give us a talk... ^^ hihi.. tat uncle is so good.. n kept on smiling all the way...
haha... when he first came to sabah, it was around 1960... n my mom wast born yet.. waw......
well, meet a new friend there.. haha.. came from west m'sia... i think i meet her o her sis b4.. but just cant remember.. HAIZ.....
haha.... chit chat for a while.......
thn wen home of coz...... haha... on9 lar... ^^

well.... afternoon, i spend my time working,.... haiz... a lot things tat need to be done.. T.T
haha....... need to finish my scrip to,........ duno wat will turn out thn ...
just can wish mua self good luck o... ^^ n one more thing.. (I lOVE FRIDAYS>>>)

my sisters b'day....

haha... today is my sisters birthday.....
went out with ty today.... ^^ bring my sis to cp thn go work....
thn when finish work thn go eat dinner thn go home,.,..... ^^
today got my first gaji... haha.. so happy o.... ^^
haha.. although not alot.. but i'm still happy of it.. haha..... ^^
not much things happen today... ^^

today....

i always put my title as today.. some times i really duno how to discripe my day.. today, a horibble day.
i can't really says it is horrible, but something happen that let me feel vry sad. haha..been blam for nothing///......
thn din talk with my family for the whole day.........
sometimes i really dun feel like talk to them.. y? u can fell more that they would not like to care bout u.....
haha.. mayb ppl will say that i am sensitive.. nvm.. i noe wat am i thinking..
haiz..... some times i raelly feel tat it wil be vry good if i'm not here.... meaning i'm not at this earth... crazy thinking rite????
i also duno wat will happen next.... i'm getting more n more not feeling well.. but wat can i say???

wat a day...

today woke up late.. coz yesterday was vry tired....
yesterday woke up at 7.30 in the morning to prepare to go to duno wat wanita thing...
haha, thn came back to home around 2.30.. well, of coz i have free lunch at hyatt. ^^ so happy.
after reach home, i stay at home rest.. haha, coz din really slept well. after that at night, got meeting on the zipopo show. haiz... 16 more days.. n i have not prepare anything... ai......
but the happy thing is yes, at last there will be a camp that i can go... ^^ haha....
well, i have not prepare anyting... wat to do?? cannot thing of anything.. n also duno how.. the song n all i also not yet finish.. hai... how o???
well, today mom n sis n pa went out n i need to cook lunch.. haiz... duno wat to cook also....T.T
not feeling really happy this few dayz. been scold all the way long... really sad...
well, not much things i been doin recenly.. but i need to do my homework lo... ^^
plenty of homework to do T.T
yeah, jia you to me o..~!~!