driver..= mamat

well, now i noe y driving is tires and why i dun like driving.

ya, of coz driving is fun, u can go any place u wan.. but once come to finding a parking and looking only the road and cannot do anything except driving, thn, think again, driving is not tat fun after all..

haha...

today i send my sis to places she wanted to go.. haha... tell u the truth, i wasn't able to even wake up..
LOL.....
but luckly i was able to drak my self out from bed..
thn send my sister to hospital...
haiz..... tired...

just now went our with ting yau to city mall..
hihi, so happy.. thankz to him so much...
thank you..
although the thing i plan did not went smothly, but thank for fulfilling it...
i was so happy.
hihi..

one more thng, we have a farewell thinging for ting yau yesterday.. haha... talk until so late...^^
i think next time we won have tat much chance to stay that way..
but still ok... hihi.... sure will miss him much..

duno tomolo de flight i can go send o not leh... T.T
hope i can go...
hmm, really need to pack my things liao... OMG.... not yet even start packing.. not a good sign...

jia you to me.. all the best to all...
and will always miss you to him..

tired day...

as day passes by,
the day to get in to uni comes near...
and how nervous i am now,
i'm scare that i will mis bringing something to tat place
i duno..
and all my friends
sure will miss them all

well, today prepare my things
wah, so many need to do, with so little time

haha, but guess wat, i got a new laptop..
so nice neh
hahaha
so happy also
thankz mummy n pa.. ^^
i really need to thank them coz i can get in to uni... ^^
haha...

eat dinner

today we all went and have dinner with our form 6 teacher..
haha, u coulden have think that actually eating with teacher can be very fun..
and when i say fun, i really mean it.. ^^

haha.... we talk with teacher bout uni life... they give us many info.. and it was nice..
i was happy.. ^^
haha... luckly i did go...
i was able to go two places in one night... ^^
haha,

but now, i have many things need to prepare again...
i'm leaving sabah on the 30,
n i haven prepare my cloth yet..
black skirt, baju kurung... OMG...

money come out like water... T.T

hope every thing will turn out ok....

i'm starting to feel nervous now... haiz.. i think it is time i go c a movei first.. ^^

goin of soon

now everyone is going in to uni, including me, lucky enuf, i was able to get in to Um..
hha//....
well, leaving sabah to west.. hmm, something i did not think tat much, but hope i will get use to it as soon as possible.
talk to teacher bout it, and got whole lots of information from her.. so happy i talk to her..

well, many of my friends will be studying in UMS...
i sure will miss them, T.T

gambatee to all of u... ^^

a day out

went out today.. it was fun.. at least can get my mine off a while. but haha.. not that fun also..
coz i need to worry my big sis too.. ^^
so din actually shop much.. is more like bring my big sister go jln jln..
haha.. but use to it liao.. ^^
this time go out i tot i can go c movie, mana tau my sister late late, thn everything is late.. so i din have the chance to c movie with my friends.. they said it was nice.. T.T
i so long din go c movie.. hmm.. i go kacau cts they all ask thm to bring my go c movie lo..

haha...

we also talk bout go out together go eat stem boat.. also long time din go eat lo.. ^^

haha.. i miss all those time..

my life was kinda dull this few months... everyday work.. but no payment.. so..
well, i think i can get over it de... ^^

just that i have a feeling that i will be quite busy on monday..
n btw, i missed my appointment with the dentice.. T.T i forgot bout it.. how now?? T.T
i really duno wat to do .. i also din tell my mom bout it yet,... haiz.. so how? i need to wash my teeth.. if not i will get worse..

haiz.. hope everything will be ok//

no parents day

haha, 3 days without parents.. ppl will think it is fun..
of coz, in some condition, i was fun,,..
but thn, it was hard.. dispite need to send the things and need to do a whole lots of house work...
i still need to do aii the work that my pa was doin. n it was not fun

haha... haiz... but still ok la.. i can watch wat movie i wanted to watch in the tv.. haha
n that is a nice thing..
i can sleep when i wanted to... ^^

but when your parents is not around, and because u are one of the eldest in the house, there is so much responsiblity that we need to hold on to.. and we cant really do wat we wan. coz we have sisters too... and that's y...

even it was just for few days only, i realy can feel the presure..... haha... at last i;m relise from the hard work that i did.

but comming back to all the working days, well, not much happen/// but i dun really enjoy it eighter... haha... parents back mean work.. n plenty of work.. n tired..
T.T

i cant watch the movie i wanted to watch.. n going out is really a problem.. so.. nvm la.. ^^

hope i can get over with the pileof work that is waithing for me o..

答应

今天很想用华语来表达自己。
本来今天以为是一个很好的日子，但是从早上到现在都没有一个能让我开心的东西发生。
今天早上本来以为可以去CITY　ＭＡＬＬ，　但是，没去成。结果去吃了一点东西，拿了钱，去了ＣＥＮＴＲＡＬ　买了一点东西，就回家啦。
本来想散心，但到头来啊，反而使给了自己根大压力。也没有去任何地方。
嗨！没办法啦。
哪知道，回家后，本来答应要和我一起去看戏的姐姐自己跑去看戏啦。把我丢在家。多亏我这么多天都没有约朋友去看戏，因为答应了姐姐，却被她放了飞机。。有点气。上次她叫我不要去开会，叫我陪她去买点东西，我没去开会因为要陪她，但她却把我丢在家。。。没话说了。谁叫我容易骗，　容易上当。这么容易就相信人家，相信人家所答应的东西。
从小，人家说不能给我答应，应为答应了就一定要做。可是，答应了的东西不就是一定要做的吗？我真是不明白。因为，从小人家答应我的东西，很少做到。那么答应是什么东西呢？答应难道是说了就算了吗？

有时候，我心里会想，如果你不肯定可不可以做，那就不要答应我呀，免得我伤心，然后又说我小气。我不知我还可以忍受多久，因为感觉有点透不过气来了。不知何时，但感觉就要疯了。　脑袋也有点点迟钝了。。。

昨天，
我很像是活着。
今天，
感觉不像活着。
明天，
我还会活着吗？
我自己也不清楚了。
只知道眼前出现了一条
崎岖不平的道路。
但，
我还有能力继续走下去吗？

bored,......

today not much things to do.. ^^ just book some air ticket for my parents..

well, recenly i just cut my hair.. still not so use with the new look. but i dun think anyone notice i cut already.. coz the differents is not much... just that my fron hair is short now..
so not much ppl notice.. hahaha

this few days really nothing to do... i just do the house chorse..
hmm.. n not much..
made a song.. but duno nice o not the song.. well nvm la.. ^^
hope the song will come out nice..
there is still a few missing tone..
hope to get the inspirition to finish the song soon....
haha..

there is a movie i wanted to c.. but duno call who neh..
hmm.. how leh???
hiaz.. no idea..
well... hope i will be able to watch it..

btw, planning to change my skin.. but i duno change to wat.. still thinking... anyone have anyidea??? haha...
my chat box is not working anymore.. well lazy to put that in liao...
coz not moving always.. haha..

althought i have many things to do.. but i really not sure wat to do now..
everything is blank in my head...
i duno wat to think liao..
just hope days passes by.. thats all...
so bored neh...

okie la....
hope i will find something to do soon.

today not much things to do.. ^^ just book some air ticket for my parents..



well, recenly i just cut my hair.. still not so use with the new look. but i dun think anyone notice i cut already.. coz the differents is not much...

at balakong friends

study

just came back from west..
have lots of fun there,
and also learn pleanty of things.

after learning unit one of the book discourse on social action,
it really let me think many things, and see things cleary, in a different point of view,
i now c how things are fragmented, where else, it shoudn't be this way.
hmm... * fall in to deep though again

haha, i also been able to strenten on apriciation towards beauty, not as in phisicaly, but also deep within. ya, one more important thing i learn and i will always remember is that the transformation in society don't just start with indivitual, but also social transformation is also needed. not only one side, but both as well. * never though of tat until i learn this book.

ya, one more thing that is very important is that i some how manage to improve my english.. * yeah, good news to me!~~!~!
happy bout it.

i also meet alot of friend like Rani, Chia Pei, Kong Eng, Dylane, Jeeven, Soon Seng (don't know how to spell his name), khameal, Feizy, danish, nirosh, shakira, temily, and many many more.. miss u all... ^^

haha, i when to the eye of the world too./.... it was fun, mayb coz we were quite crazy in the cabin... well... haha.... no problem of being crazy once a while... ^^

lastly, hope everyone have a fun and nice day~!

time

day passes by each day.
but how many of us realise it?
once i was still a little child,
but just a turn,
i was one step closer to take responsiblity,
one step closer to become an aldut.

And yet,
we still dun realise,
that our time will never wait for us.
and it still flows away without our notice.

Time, is slow and yet so fast.
time can be so slow that we did not notice the earth is turning.
yet, it can be so fast until we did not notice it has already past.

can we say time is fast? o should we say it slow?
i dun really noe.
but i do noe, time is something that we can't buy
time is something we cannot take
o hold on to..

the effect of time can be seen every where,
but y, we still don't think it as something presous to us?
y we still wan to waise time??

May

it's been a long time since i update my blog. there is so many things happen.. ^^
first is my birthday, this year's birthday is really simple.. ^^
on the 1st may, vic n eve help me celebrate my birthday.. really thankz to them o... ^^ arigato..
thn on the 2nd, i went to beach.. with family n Bahai friend. well, it was not for my birthday, it was for twelve day of ridvan... well, really have fun there, haha... but i bring wrong cloth, so lastly ended up wearing my mom's cloth... ^^

thn later at night, i call fanny , cts, lemon, louise to go yam cha.. so just chat there... it's been a long time since i go out.. well, i seldom go out.. haha...

well, one more thing, louise n me got the same interview couses... hope we both can go in to the couses we want.. ^^

thn, yesterday, was a busy day, when we rest at night time, my big sis suddenly start to "decorate" me.. well, she some how come out with a kimono, and start dressing me up.. well, it do look like kimono.. but, kinda funny also...la.... ^^

mayb it was just me

since young, i dun really like ppl breaking promise,
like they say wan bring me to somewhere,
i will put much hope on it.
but,
once they break the promise,
the only answer i got is that we need to be flexsible,
need to c the time,
need to accept ppl breaking promise.

but, sometimes,
i really hope, that ppl can fulfill at least one promise they made to me
exspeacially some one that is important to me.
i dun like ppl making promises.

but i do make promises, ant will no mater how, fulfill it.
even thn i get scolding later.
but i always kept them.

but i really hope ppl will keep their promises.
really i hope.

today, some one said coming to c me, i did prepare, but i din even get an answer,
nor did tat person came.
this made me think of the sandakan trip.
if tat really u can't go, plz, dun promise me.

i am really scare i become someone who doesn't believe in promises people made..

a door to be open

infron me is two door, a door that looks small and timid
and the other, big and mighty

i turn to the mighty door,
thinking how to open it,
it must take all my might to open it.
But to my surprise,
when i tried to open that mighty door,
just a push,
the door came trembling down

then, i turn to the small and timid door
thinking, this door must be as heavy as stone
as hard as diamond
i gather all my might,
and give the door a push.
but, to my surprise
the door open so easily,
as if it was never been close.

the mighty door tell me,
don't judge a book by it's cover
the timid door tell me,
don't let your past be an obstacle

we always doubt how to open each door
but,
now i know how
another question comes out,
which one do i go in?

30 march 2007.....

well, i woke up today and found out that half of my family members are sick.
this means that i need to do all the work..
will, i mean ALL.... n u noe how tired tat is...
haha.... luckly my mom din really ask me to do al..
luckly for me.

the day b4 yesterday i got a sms saying that he will go to ns on sat...
which is tomolo....

one part of me felt gad that at last he is able to go, and won need to bother it anymore..
but one part of me felt sad.... T.T

haha.. i think i do need some time to overcome it de...

but you never noe....

3 month is not tat long... but when u start to count the days, it make it longer.. and longer...
haha.... stupid me

well, i'm still thinking will i go to the trip, since that its been a long time we din gether together.
but, karabunei is really a place i always go de...

haha...

but mayb70% of me will go... but a nother problem arise...
i have NO CAR>>> NO TRANSPORT....

haiz... i think i contact steph n c how la... ^^

got my result today...
it was bad...
haiz...

another day..... another day

fasting month.....
means need to wake up early... ^^
so i have been waking up early n also been sleeping late....
so wake up early + sleep late = not enuf sleep..

haha........

well, during fasting month, i usually gain weight. but this year, i loose weight T.T
tat is a terrible news for me.....
so sad..
most of my cloth already vry loose...
haiz.......
but nvm.... it is fun to fast.... but it is quite tired also..

haha..... so hope i can manage it o....

wat?

new year, a season where ppl will feel happy, will wish one another.
tat season is when all the love n blessing will go flyin around...
but, i duno why, i dont really can blen in to this season.....
i tried to blen in, but the more i try, the more i felt drop out..
haha...... so i just keep quite..... until i dun really talk much.....
and act as wat ppl wan... n not wat i am.....
it is hard, but i duno wat more can i do....
even at home, a mask was always with me...
when can i be me again? y cant anyone accept me as me...
n not as wat they hope to be...
why?

this new year, i duno wat meaning to me..
now, i also worried with my future..
wat can i do?
i really scare i did not do well, due to my health n hospital visit..
i noe i cannot blam anyone..
but i noe i tried..
so wat i get is mine...
n there is nothing i can do noe...

sometime i cannot sleep, thinking many things...
but i really duno who can i tell..
i duno who to tell..
ppl use to say tell ur friend... but the ones who i tried as friend,
didnt respond to this call..
some time i wonder, them , will they tread me as wat i tried them?
so, slowly, i start to feel lost...

now, i am wondering in a path i duno where it will leads....

new year?

first of all... Happy New Year o...
well, today is the third day of new year, which usually, ppl will go visit most of ppl de house... but i din go anywhere
hahaha....
actually i wanted to go somewhere de.. but i duno who to call to go tat place..
anyways,,, wat to do......
i can only be at home today...
n no ppl came visit as well..
haha.. this is the first time i dun really have the mood of chinese new year..
i mean, this begining of the year, i basicly din have any mood for any celebration..
haiz...
valentine, birthday, new year,.... i really duno now...
haiz,,,,....

but lastly, still need to wish everyone, happy new year.. i mean... happpy chinese new year. to every one...

hope every one have a wonderfull new year, may your wish come true.. ~!~!~!